Introduction

There are many reasons that I consider myself very lucky when it comes to parents. The biggest reason is that my mother and father taught me from a very early age the importance of core values. Core values are what guide your behaviors, actions, thoughts, and decisions. As an English major, I have to give you a metaphor! I see core values as parts of a ship. They are your sail because they propel the boat forward. They are your anchor because they ground in what is important in life. They are your rudder because they direct you through the stormy weather of life. I believe that if you do not know your core values, you do not truly know yourself. My parents raised me with a set of core values, and as I have gotten older, I have adapted these core values to fit how I am as an adult. Today, I want to share with you all my (top) three core values in hopes that they inspire you to seriously think about yours. Remember, even if you do not think you have core values, you do but you just might not be aware of them.

Loyalty

Since middle school, loyalty has always been my top core value. Loyalty means something different for everyone (especially in romantic relationships). To me, loyalty is about being unwavering. Unwavering support. Unwavering love and devotion. Unwavering commitment. It is something that I practice in all relationships in my life. Loyalty is standing by my friend Maya’s side for the past sixteen years (and many more years in the future). Loyalty is putting my phone away during dinner with my family so I can be present with the people I love. Loyalty is reaching out to old high school friends when they desperately need help. At the same time, loyalty goes beyond just the people in my life. It is something that I practice with groups and organizations. It is always putting mandatory sorority events on my calendar. It is dedicating blood, sweat, and tears to the National MS Society because I am so thankful for their love and support since my father’s diagnosis. It is about working to leave Visitation Academy – a place that has changed me in countless ways (which you can read more about in a past blog post) – a better place than when I arrived. I never do anything half-assed because loyalty tells me that I cannot. Being present is a vital part of loyalty because you can only be unwavering if you are physically, emotionally, and mentally present with the people or organizations you are loyal to. That is why it is important for me to schedule coffee or meals with the people I love. That is why I try my hardest to answer text messages and emails in a timely manner. That is why I do service projects and charity work in St. Louis. I am unwavering because one of my core values is loyalty.

Authencity

I have always been a bit… wild. In fact, the whole reason this blog is titled The Coneflower Chronicles is because of my wild nature (you can read about the origin story of my blog’s name in my very first blog post – hint, I’m a wildflower). There have been a variety of people who have attempted to rein me in. There was a period of time when I allowed others to dedicate who I was. I quieted down when others told me I was being too bold. I hid my passions when others told me that I was too creative. I filtered my genuine self when others told me that I was too much. However, now that I am older, I have realized that other people’s opinions of me do not matter as much as my opinion of myself. If people thought I was “too” anything, it was insignificant as long as I was being myself. I always have to remind myself that if someone judges me, it is most likely because they are judging a part of themselves that they see in me. They were probably taught that their boldness or their creativity or their genuineness was not “right”. It is a reflection of them (and their insecurities) and not of me. Whenever I feel like I have lost my way, I always think about how I was a child. I was fearless. I was passionate. I was full of zest. In my grandmother’s words, I was a “bull moose”. I try to make that little girl proud by continuing her legacy of being big, bold, and beautiful. Today, my wildness is present in many aspects of my life. It is in my fearlessness to put a part of my heart and soul out on the Internet for complete strangers to read. It is in my passion for reading and writing. It is in my zest for life as I attempt to say yes to as many opportunities as possible. I am myself because one of my core values is loyalty.

Integrity

Integrity is a core value that I have gained from my parents, especially my father. My dad talks about integrity all the time, and he has raised me to value integrity. Integrity is about constantly and honestly adhering to your personal ethical and moral code. I see integrity as living out your core values. It is about putting your words into action, and I think this is why I struggle to put the definition of integrity into words. It is not enough to say that your core values are x, y, z, you have to live your core values out through your deeds. This is why, in the past paragraphs above, I laid out how I live out my core values. That is one of many ways I live out integrity. Integrity is about being honest when a friend asks me for advice. Integrity is about putting my shop cart back because you should always do the right thing, no matter how small. Integrity is about following through on my promises at my job, especially when interacting with parents and family at WashU. Sometimes, I think that I also struggle to define integrity because it is something that I just do. Now, it is not natural. You have to work to have integrity and work to live out your core values. It is a choice that you have to make every single day of your life. It is sometimes easy and it is sometimes hard. However, with a little integrity, it can become slightly more natural. I live out in my core values because one of my core values is integrity.