Introduction

Welcome back to this special duology! If you have not read the first part, I recommend you read that first before reading this part. Without delay, let’s launch into the second half of all the lessons I have learned from Taylor Swift!

Reputation: “But I’ll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year’s Day”

I love being a New Year’s baby. I cherish it because I get to start the new year and my birthday surrounded by the people I love. One of those people is my best friend, Maya. She always comes to my house on New Year’s Eve to spend the night and stays for my birthday dinner on New Year’s Day. Our friendship is extremely special because few people in their early twenties can say they have fifteen years of friendship with someone. My friendship with Maya taught me friendship is like a New Year’s Eve party. Your friend should celebrate your accomplishments without jealousy or comparison. They should attend your celebrations with joy, pride, and love. They are the ones who you should always look forward to seeing at parties. Yet, the real test of friendship happens after the party is over. It is easy to be there for your friends when life is a party with confetti and glitter. It is not easy to be there when the party is over. No one wants to pick up the mess made the night before, but a true friend will do it with a smile on their face. They are the ones that you look forward to seeing after the party is over. These friends will be there for you during the messy moments of your life. Friendship is both easy and hard. Maya and I just click. There is something so organic about our friendship. I always look forward to seeing Maya, even if we are just running errands together. It also took some time and effort to get to this point in our friendship. Just because something is hard does not mean that the work is not worth it. There were plenty of points in both of our lives when we could have lost contact. However, we both continuously made an effort to maintain our friendships. We have never had a serious argument because we work through our problems together. It was hard work, but it has also been the most rewarding work of my life. Maya has enriched my life in countless ways. She has pushed me to grow into a better version of myself every single day. I look forward to our New Year’s traditions every year and I could not pick a better best friend to help me clean up once the party is over. 

P.S. The photo attached to this blog post is when I went to the Reputation tour when Swift came to St. Louis! 

Lover: “I wanna be defined by the things that I love… / You are what you love”

I can tell what truly matters to someone by looking at two things in their life: their calendar and their bank statements. Your calendar and your bank statements reveal what you spend your time, your talent, and your treasure on. These are types of currency, and we need to be aware of where we are spending them. I am going to use my calendar and bank statements as a model for you to follow. Because “money makes the world go around”, let’s look at treasure first. This is the type of currency that we usually associate with our daily lives. During my study abroad, I spent the most money I have ever spent in four months. My biggest expense was travel. Traveling has always been very important to me, and it is a value that I have inherited from my parents. They always encourage me to travel (especially at this stage of my life), even if it means that I spend less time at home. I currently finance all of my sole travel, including all of the trips I took while studying abroad. I spent all summer saving up money and saying no to other purchases because I knew I would travel a lot during my semester abroad. This also means that I have to carve out time in my calendar to travel. For example, during Summer 2023, I was out of the country for about half of the summer for my trips to Mexico, London, and Israel. This meant that I had to say no to other opportunities or experiences to make these destinations a reality. My love for travel also links to my talents. I love to share my knowledge and my experiences with other people. I am currently putting together a guide for future students of my freshman-year Shakespeare class so that they can learn from my successes and mistakes when visiting London for the first time. This is a way for me to give back to the class that has changed my life in so many ways (if you want to learn more about this class, you can read about it in a past blog post!). This one facet of my life is something that I spent a lot of my currency on but that is because I love it. We need to be aware of where we are spending our time, talent, and treasure because it should always be directed at the things we love. I want my love to be the first thing that people see in me. 

Folklore: “There goes the loudest woman this town has ever seen”

You would be surprised by the amount of times people have told me that I am too loud. It has been a constant part of my personality for my entire life, even as a little girl. My mom tells the story of how I made my feelings known to everyone in the store when she refused to buy me a My Little Pony! She swears it was the biggest fit I have ever thrown because I was screaming and crying as she carried me out to the car. Throughout the years, there have been plenty of people who have wanted me to be less loud. Whether intentional or not, they want me to dim my light. There has been a history of people wanting women to be quiet because they are intimidated by powerful, passionate women. There is this negative connotation to the phrase “loud woman”.  However, I believe in embracing the title of loud woman because it points to my joy and enthusiasm and zest for life. I also make it a point to surround myself with other loud women. My all-girls high school – Visitation Academy – has taught me so much about being a loud woman. Their motto is “be who you are and be that well” which means being my vivacious self. I was surrounded by young women who were not afraid to be themselves, which inspired me to be myself. My sorority has also taught me so much about being confidently myself. (If you want to learn more about my experience going to a Catholic school, you should check out one of my past blog posts!) Kappa Delta has changed my life in so many ways, and I do not know the person I would be without my amazing sisters. They are the most passionate and ambitious and loudest women I have ever met. Each of them inspires me every day to live life to the fullest. They taught me to never be quiet for someone else’s comfort. My female friendships have always been something near and dear to my heart. I encourage every woman out there to not be afraid of their voice and to surround themselves with fellow loud women. We have to stick together. 

Evermore: “But there was happiness because of me”

Happiness is so unique to everyone. Something that might make one person happy might be someone else’s worst nightmare. We usually think of things that cause our happiness. I like to think that we have more control over our happiness than we think. I have written an entire blog post dedicated to control. I did not have a chance to talk about taking control of your happiness in that post. I know that it can feel like happiness is something that you cannot control because there are so many things that are completely out of your control in life. I argue that there are some simple ways that we can control our own happiness. We should be looking to do things that release our happy hormones in a positive and healthy way. We can make sure that we are taking care of ourselves by eating right, moving our bodies, and getting enough sleep. We can choose who we spend our time with, what we study at university, what hobbies we do outside of work, and so much more. I cannot control a lot of things in life, but I can control my mindset. My mindset can create so much happiness in my life. I can choose to have a positive mindset, even when things are hard. I can choose to give meaning to my pain. I can choose to be grateful for everything I have been gifted and everything I have worked for in life. Now, there is the phrase “toxic positivity”, which is the belief that you should maintain a positive mindset no matter what. I do not believe that someone should be happy 24/7 because that is not healthy. It is healthy to feel all your emotions, even negative ones. At the same time, we have control over our mindsets, and I do not believe in ruminating in negative emotions. Being stuck in my negative emotions like fear or anxiety or guilt does not help me live a better life. I process those negative emotions, learn my lessons from those negative emotions, and then stop myself from staying stuck in those emotions. This is how I create happiness in my own life. 

Midnights: “Putting someone first only works when you’re in their top five”

I live by the idea that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. This list is bound to include some very important people outside of your family, like your romantic partner and your friends. Everyone always talks about having strong standards for romantic partners. I argue that you should have just as strong standards for your friendships. There are some non-negotiable traits that I now look for in friends. My biggest requirement is loyalty. We all know what loyalty looks like in a romantic relationship. But what does loyalty look like in friendship? To me, a large part of loyalty is valuing the friendship. They have to value the friendship as much as I do. In some of my past relationships, I have definitely valued their friendship more than they valued mine. This caused me to be a bit of a pushover and a doormat. I would stop everything at the drop of a hat if they needed help, but they would never return the favor. I was held to different standards than everyone else because I was willing to put my wants and desires to the side. I reached a point when I realized that I did not want this person to be included in my average because our values were misaligned. I realized that they did value loyalty the way I did. I also realized that I was not being loyal to my own values because I was allowing this person to walk all over me. Now, my top five are held to higher standards. These are people with that I share my values, and that push me to grow in new and exciting ways. They celebrate my wins and commiserate my losses. They respect my boundaries. They meet and exceed my extremely high standards. They are people that I am happy to include in my average because I know that they appreciate my friendship the way I appreciate theirs. I encourage you all to figure out your own top five and think about whether or not they see you in the same light. Your time, talent, and treasure should go toward people who value you the way you value them. 

The Tortured Poet’s Department: “I’d rather burn my whole life down, than listen to one more second of all this bitching and moaning”

I have briefly talked about the passivity of complaining in another blog post, but I want to write about it a little more here. This lesson is something new in my life because as I have gotten older, I feel more drawn to growth and personal development. Growth only comes from dedicated and purposeful action; complaining is empty action. The difficult thing about complaining is that we feel like we are accomplishing something when we do it. It is because our brains might get a hit of happy chemicals (like dopamine) when we complain and someone agrees with us. However, just because it floods our brains with dopamine does not mean that it is good for us. New studies have revealed that complaining might not be very good for you in the long run. Complaining rewires our brains to focus on the negative. Now, humans are already wired with a negative bias, so instead of fighting against it, we are adding fuel to the fire by complaining and not taking action. Do you know how many people I have heard complain about the results of the 2024 election and then follow up their complaints with “But I did not vote”? In my opinion, too many people have said this. First, I believe that you should always vote in every election you can because it is your duty and privilege as an American citizen. If I can do it from 4,000 miles away from my local voting poll, anyone can do it. Second, if you do not vote, I do not want to hear you complaining because all you are doing is talking. Your actions should match your words. Positive actions literally light up our brains. We see increased action in our reward systems, which includes a release of those happy chemicals. Those happy chemicals also rewire the brain in a positive way that encourages us to continue taking action. We cannot control the outcome, but we can control what we do about it. There is so much action for us to take in the next four years. It can feel daunting and scary. Complaining can feel like a productive way to combat those negative feelings, but it does not help anyone, including yourself. Instead of just complaining, let’s actually do something about it. There are countless organizations out there that would love your help and support. You just have to be brave enough to reach out!

Conclusion

Many people define a Swiftie as someone who loves Taylor Swift, has a deep knowledge of her music, actively participates in the community, and so much more. I see it as something deeper than that. To me, being a Swiftie is about taking the lessons that you learn from Taylor Swift and her music and applying them to your own life. It is about discovering these lessons for yourself through her music. As long as Swift is making music, we will continue to learn and adapt these lessons to our lives. I encourage any Swifties out there to reflect on the lessons you have learned and create your own playlist. I would love to hear about the lessons you have learned in the comments below!

P.S. My favorite albums are 1989 and Midnights (because I cannot choose one favorite!).

Bibliography and Author’s Note

Lessons I Have Learned from Taylor Swift Playlist (Spotify)